One more thing.

I just recently discovered something amazing, right here in Whatcom County that has helped make my life easier. I would highly recommend it! Dandelion Organic Delivery Service. They deliver within Bellingham (I pick up my bin at the Easy Entree). You can choose to do weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, whatever. There are no contracts, just lots of yummy organic produce. I am set up to do bi-weekly and I chose the Harvest bin. This week's bin has tons of great stuff in it that will all get eaten. The great thing is picking up my bin saves me lots of time from having to run from store to store trying to find organic produce. They put it all together for me in one cute little bin to bring home. I absolutely love it! Check it out and if you decide to sign up, make sure to tell them I sent you! I will add their link to my favorite websites, too. Click here to go to their website.

Cheers. I am off to take a mid-term and go pick up my bin!

DeTox

The nice thing about really knowing my body now is I can see patterns within myself and how my system reacts. Currently, my body is on its way to freak out mode. Why? Well, I haven't been being exactly nice to it lately. Long hours spent studying, attacks of the munchies being satisfied with brownies and chips, loss of sleep and not enough stretching... this has all led to a couple of problems in my behavioral cycles that are concerning to me. So instead of sulking and feeling sorry for myself, like I would have done a couple years ago, I am going to be pro-active. I cannot take away a whole lot of the stress in my life right now, so I just need to be better to myself in coping with it. I have a tendency to think I need to have a nice cocktail at the end of the week to reward myself. This habit is one that I had kicked for a good 9 months or so. But now the sun is trying to peek out again and I just get that urge to sit on a patio somewhere with a nice cold chocolate martini or vanilla lemon drop. Now, don't get me wrong, one cocktail is not going to be the end of me. However, when I have a cocktail, I tend to have other things along with it that don't work... like a lack of self control. So I am not ruling out cocktails all-in-all, I'm simply limiting myself. And no, mom, I have not become an alcoholic, I promise. I am too busy to be an alcoholic. Anyway, no more baking for me for the majority of the summer months. I will enjoy a couple cookies or a brownie once in a while but when I bake them, I feel compelled to eat them... all.... in one sitting. So let's not do that anymore either.

My cousin Jennifer asked me the other day how I do it all. I was flattered that she really thinks I have it all together. Ha! That is not the case, ladies and gentlemen, I assure you. Those who know me well and have stopped by my house mid-week within the last few months know that we have just enough clean clothes, towels, dishes and cups to get us by for the week. Where I used to sweep twice a day, now I am sweeping every other day (ick with wood floors, not recommended!). My dishes are always awaiting my attention. The area around Merritt's chair is always sticky (that's a given whether I clean or not, he is a two year old boy). I am so upset that I cannot clean as much as I used to that it has really been getting to me. I know I can do more and be more productive, I just have to plan out my days a little better and stop committing to so many things. So what is the plan, beyond all this blabbing? Well... let me tell you. I am going on an Abby DeTox Diet. It's not all about eating, it all about treating myself better and giving me and my body the attention it needs. So today is day one. I will explain the elements of this diet.

Abby's DeTox Diet Daily Requirements:
- Have a meal plan and stick to it including three healthy meals, 2-3 healthy snacks a day, lots of water and at least one of those Arbonne Figure 8 Citrus Fizz drinks a day.
- Follow weekly homework schedule to stay on top of it all and maybe even get ahead!
- Follow house cleaning schedule
- Check up on business and personal bills every Tuesday
- Get outside for at least 30 minutes a day with my adorable son
- Read with Merritt for at least 20 minutes a day
- Take some time each day to do nothing and feel ok about it
- Limited sugar intake, watch gluten intake, munch smartly and carefully and hide the vanilla vodka from myself
- Go to bed by 11pm every single night during the week

Some of these requirements might sound simple but I assure you this will be a challenge. I am putting myself on the DeTox diet for the next 30 days to see what it does for me. By then I will have finished up Spring Quarter and bikini season will be upon us. I will be updating my blog as often as possible as it's therapeutic for me and it helps to hold me accountable. So to start with the whole accountability thing, here is my meal plan for the week.


Monday:
Breakfast - Strawberry Mocha Smoothie: (1 scoop Arbonne chocolate protein powder, 1/4 cup toddy coffee, 1 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup fortified chocolate rice milk, 1/2 cup water, 2 handfuls of ice) This is about 20 grams of protein, 5 grams of fiber, and includes a lot of my daily vitamin and mineral needs. Very filling and yummy, too!

Lunch - Balsamic Garbanzo Salad: (1/2 cup cooked garbanzo beans, cucumber slices, 15 halved cherry tomatoes, 1/2 green bell pepper chopped, handful of chopped onion, 10 sliced kalamata olives, 2 tbsp toasted pine nuts, dressing (1 tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1 tbsp olive oil, couple shakes of garlic powder, chopped fresh flat leaf parsley (from my herb garden!) and cilantro (b/c I have it on hand) shake together and marinate on salad for about an hour before eating). All of this goodness goes on top of a bed of fresh romaine lettuce.

Dinner - Chinese Veggie Soy Ginger Stir Fry with Brown Rice and Peanuts

Tuesday:
Breakfast - Smoothie of some sort, probably chai with chocolate chai rice milk and coffee.

Lunch - Mexican Black Beans, Rice and Veggies (Bringing to school)

Dinner - Big Ben's Lentil Burgers (How it all Vegan, page 110) & Garlic-Rosemary Roasted Potatoes, Steamed Lemon Asparagus

Wednesday:
Breakfast - Fabulous French Toast (How it all Vegan, page 47), pear slices, pure organic maple syrup

Lunch - Rice Pilaf with slivered almonds, veggies, ground flax seed, lemon garlic sauce. Apple.

Dinner - Artichoke Rotini Pasta (How it all Vegan, page 105). Romaine Salad with Veggies and that new Kalamata Olive Dressing we got at the Co-Op

Thursday:
Breakfast - Smoothie - probably raspberry mocha (Can you tell I love these?)

Lunch - Sandwich on whole wheat toast with Sunflower Seeds, Avocado, Tomato Slices, Onion, Green peppers, Cucumbers, Lettuce. Fruit. Leftover roasted potatoes.

Dinner - Quinoa, Hummus and Veggie Stuffed Whole Wheat Pitas. Greek Garbanzo Bean Salad (garbanzo beans, garlic, tomatoes, celery, lemon juice, fresh mint, fresh parsley, olive oil, kalamata olives, lettuce) I will post the exact recipe later.

Friday:
Breakfast - Raspberry Cornmeal Muffins (How it all Vegan, page 131)

Lunch - Some sort of leftovers from the week

Dinner - Baked Beans (How it all Vegan, page 99) & Curried Potatoes (How it all Vegan, page 43), Grilled Veggies. Fresh fruit.

So that's it for now. I think you get the picture that I am actually planning things so I will stay on track. Beyond that, I will be doing homework according to a plan instead of whenever I can squeeze it in; thus alleviating a lot of the stress and frustration I have had lately. I will keep y'all updated on how things are going. Oh, and I will be having lots of snacks every day in addition to the meals listed... stuff like fresh fruit (probably apples with peanut butter), veggies, Lara Bars, Arbonne Weight Loss Chews, Arbonne Citrus Fizz drinks, etc.

So maybe you should try taking better care of yourself for the next month along with me and we will all be feeling better and ready to take on the Summer in full force. Here's to hoping!

Love,
Abby

Healing and Clarity

No Time to Say Goodbye. While I have not had much free time lately, I did manage to sneak in some extra reading the other day that has been really helpful, has given me some clarity. I was looking for a new vegan cookbook in Barnes & Noble when I stumbled upon this book. It is No Time to Say Goodbye, Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One. It was written by Carla Fine, whose husband suffered from depression and lost his battle after 21 years of marriage and so many hard times. Carla gives an unfiltered look into a grieving widow who doesn't know how to feel from one minute to the next. While reading this book I have realized a few things. Suicide is one of those subjects people don't want to talk about; they don't want to think about it. So when a person loses someone near to them to suicide, the survivor is often ostracized and not allowed to grieve in the standard fashion. Another thing that really spoke to me was the level of depression that the people suffered from prior to taking their own lives. Most of the stories included statements like "We knew he was depressed, we just never thought it would go this far." Confused mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, children, relatives... the list of stories within this book goes on and on. And throughout it all, the people all felt so alone after the death of their loved one... as if they couldn't talk about the person to others... that the person they lost is all of a sudden being judged for that one final act instead of their life as a whole. It made me so sad to read the stories... one story after another of heartache, sorrow and confusion. But it also brought me a lot of closure, which is what I was looking for in this book. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever lost a loved one to suicide. It is very healing, to know that your feelings are normal and justified. I have decided to stop being pissed off at that person we lost to suicide and just let him rest in peace. No one can stop this awful act and no one can ever fully understand it... so that's that.

Oh, and on another note, I think that the lack of respect flows over to people who are depressed and willing to do something about it. If someone knows they need it and seek medical help, they should be praised for taking initiative rather than judged for needing a little help. It drives me crazy to hear people sitting around judging others when they have never walked a mile in their shoes. Until you have hit rock bottom and made it from the hardest times in your life and over that hump, you can't begin to understand how hard a single day can be. When you wake up and wonder if you want to even get out of bed. Those feelings are real and they are heart-wrenching and cannot be ignored. So if someone you love is suffering from depression, lend a helping hand instead of a judgmental stare or a whisper to someone else behind their back. It's time we all hold each other up. One day you will need someone to reach out a hand when you don't know if you can climb up out of the miry pit on your own. Grace... we can all pass it on to one another.

The GDP, Inflation, Unemployment and Other Reasons Why Our Government Sucks

So as you probably know, I am currently taking an Economics class. This class is online and I am really learning a lot from it. Sometimes I think maybe I don't want to know. Maybe I should continue to be an ignorant American and just pretend all is well in the land of the free... err I mean the land of the lied to. So this week I have been learning about macroeconomics. Sounded scary, it really isn't. It's basically looking at our economy as a whole and how it is affected and how growth is measured. So I learned about GDP (gross domestic product), how the inflation rate is measured and how our government fudges the numbers to make us think we are in less trouble than we really are and that the unemployment rate has varied little in the last 10 years.

I had to gather information for an assignment and give my opinion, which we all know I am good at. Wanna hear it? It's long but I think you will find it interesting. Check out the links and websites mentioned, if you dare....

I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Williams’s assessment of government data reporting (http://www.gillespieresearch.com/cgi-bin/bgn). Politicians want to further their agendas; therefore, they manipulate numbers to plead their cases and to make the economy look better than it actually is. Because Americans are traditionally uninformed and ignorant, it is easy for the government to get away with this type of behavior. In my own experience I have felt the effects of inflation, have seen how unemployment has affected those around me. I have also seen firsthand how little our economy is growing in comparison to spending by the US government. I was particularly disturbed after reading a paper written by John Schmitt and Dean Baker of the Center for Economic and Policy Research. The article is at http://www.cepr.net/documents/publications/JSDB_08recession.pdf and discusses what Americans are in for with the projected recession of 2008. In this paper the authors say that, “A recession would also increase the national poverty rate by between 1.6 and 3.5 percentage points (from a 2006 level of 12.3 percent), raising the number of individuals living in poverty by between 4.7 million and 10.4 million people.”

In my own life I have seen people I care about lose their jobs while facing increasing personal debt. A few have claimed bankruptcy in what should be the prime of their lives. There is constant talk around the dinner table with my family about current debt levels and how awful it feels to have debt and feel like there is no way out of it. I can imagine that politicians must have this feeling in the back of their minds in regards to our national situation, but ignore it to further themselves. While this is the basis of our economy and capitalism, it does no good for our country as a whole. On the CEPR website (www.cepr.net) I found an economic calculator. I punched in the number of 34.8 trillion dollars, that representing what Williams asserts is America’s negative net worth. I think he is probably close, also disturbing. However, when those 34.8 trillion dollars are spread out per capita, it would cost each American $111,444.16 in one year to pay our country’s net worth down to zero. That figure scares me the most. Many Americans cannot afford health insurance or adequate amounts of food to feed their families. I look at my two year old son and wonder what this world and our government will be like when he is my age and it truly scares me. After reading more of the paper written by Schmitt and Baker, I saw that however optimistic I, or politicians, want to be, the future looks bleak for our country unless drastic changes are made soon. As was encouraged by a blog that I came across (http://theviewfromtheveranda.blogspot.com/2007/07/america-negative-net-worth.html), my husband and I plan to follow a simple statement; “So get yourself out of debt--now. Be frugal. Save aggressively. This is not paranoia; it's reality.” I think that is all too true in our society.