I picked up the latest copy of VegNews, Mar+Apr 2008 edition. I was immediately drawn to the list of 222 Reasons to Be Veg on page 50. I just had to share a couple of my favorites that I can relate to.
6. Never having to eat spam.
8. The joy and triumph when "veganizing" a recipe.
13. Not eating the bodies of tortured souls.
18. Lactose intolerance is a non-issue.
20. Having clean arteries that aren't clogged with dead-animal goo.
28. Greater spirtitual, mental, emotional and physical strength.
34. Watching loved ones and strangers slowly evolve toward vegetarianism.
36. Not having to inspect meals for fatty, gristly bits.
40. Vegan guys are hot! (damn straight they are!)
41. No dead bodies in my refrigerator.
46. Cooking is easier and more fun.
47. Feeling instantly at home upon entering veg restaurants, anywhere in the world.
52. Never having to apologize for not eating questionable potluck food.
54. Bean and guacamole burritos.
57. Vegans taste better.
58. Belonging to a higher-IQ demographic.
61. Living simply so that others may simply live.
67. A lowered risk of osteoporosis.
73. One needn't be an Einstein to choose vegetarianism (although Einstein was veg).
78. Better skin and fewer zits.
79. Getting to wear pleather in a non-weird way.
80. Cheaper groceries.
83. Reducing the risk of acquiring many chronic diseases.
87. Indulging guiltlessly in rich, delicious vegan desserts.
92. Never having to cut and prepare blood-soaked food. (This is probably one of my FAVORITES!)
99. Finding like-minded people and having something in common instantly.
100. Not feeling like crap all the time. (AMEN!)
102. Cooking for and eating with friends.
107. Experimenting in the kitchen.
110. Not inadvertently funding a corrupt agribusiness billionaire's vacation home.
113. Eating whatever I want, within reason, and not gaining tons of weight. (An answer to countless prayers after years of agonizing daily over weight instead of enjoying life!)
116. Everything!
117. Knowing the Heimlich maneuver, if ever needed, won't produce a hunk of dead flesh.
123. Not getting queasy when thinking about where food comes from.
124. Having a kitchen that never reeks of seafood.
132. Not having to use a toothpick to scrape meat of one's teeth.
134. Quinoa.
140. Having the most unique and exciting cookbook collection ever.
142. Eating healthfully by default.
143. Getting to lick the batter off the electric cookie beater without fear of salmonella.
145. Feeling squeaky clean inside.
147. Saying goodbye to diabetes.
149. Breakfast smoothies. (YUMMM!!!)
150. Vegetarians smell better.
152. More energy and stamina. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
162. Getting to wear size 6 jeans. (Actually smaller, but not having to worry about ever going beyond a 6 again)
166. Using my vegan status to deflect weirdos in bars. (made me laugh. I can deflect almost anyone now once I bring up vegan convo.)
173. Eating all the time.
181. Not being a mindless, cheese-addicted zombie. (Lord knows I was before)
184. The excitement of discovering a new veg restaurant.
186. Not worrying about whether tofu is cage-free.
189. Greater mental clarity. (It's true!)
202. Tofu scramble.
205. Teaching children life lessons invaluable to character development.
206. Avocado every which way.
216. Vegan soap feels clean, not lardy.
And to add a couple of my own to the list... although it is a great list already...
1. How great I feel after 3 vegan doughnuts for breakfast... not all heavy and sugar-laden like before.
2. Iced Soy Chai Lattes made in my own kitchen.
3. A sense of more pride and ownership over my own life and decisions.
4. Thinking that... I am a Skinny Bitch now!
5. Goodbye fat days! They are a thing of the past.
6. I am more empowered and outspoken. (who knew I could be more so!)
7. People who are interested in my lifestyle because they see positive change in me.
8. I am proud of myself.
9. Being vegan is easy. So easy. I dare you to try it for 2 weeks and see what happens, how you feel.
10. Not feeling pressured to eat cheese or beef every time I drink red wine.
11. Better taste buds.
12. No more McDonald's.
13. Merritt knows that "McDonald's isn't healthy. We don't eat there anymore. Eww!"
14. Not feeling guilty about what I feed my child.
15. I love fruits and veggies and eat so much now.
16. Using our VitaMix blender the way it was intended to be used.
17. Coming up with my own recipe variations for anything.
18. I have rediscovered my love of reading and am in the middle of 5 or 6 books right now. All empowering, thoughtful books.
19. More energy every single day.
20. No more gut bombs after eating an expensive dinner.
21. Homemade pizza dough made by yours truly.
22. Discovering new spices.
23. Sharon's Sorbet. Gourmet Coconut.
24. Endangered Species Chocolate Bars.
25. Vitamins without "gelatin" listed on the list of ingredients.
26. Arbonne products.
27. Soft skin.
28. Clarity about my whole life.
29. Raising my son to feel empowered to make decisions for himself and no one else.
30. Blogging about my experiences.
31. Deep Fried Avocado from Cafe Flora. Dear Lord. Wow.
32. Knowing who Rory Freedman is and appreciating her.
33. Understanding this phrase "I don't know a single vegan who's managed to avoid being the center of a meathead bully-circle." And knowing that it does come with the territory... and that is okay because I am healthy and happy and whole!
34. My teeth don't hurt anymore.
35. Mighty O Doughnuts.
36. Trader Joe's and their countless vegan cookie options.
37. Knowing that my makeup has no icky rendering-plant related ingredients.
38. Not having to puke after watching Fast Food Nation.
39. Political awareness.
40. The idea of falling off the grid sounds good to me now.
41. I get Scott more now.
42. Hummus.
43. Knowledge is power.
K. I think I could go on and on. So I will stop now. You get the picture. I am happy to be vegan and VegNews helped to show me many of the ways I am grateful. Thank you again, to Skinny Bitch, for changing my life, opening my eyes and helping to give me that push I needed to travel down a healthier path in life! I am off to dream about Vegan Doughnuts now.
The Song List...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Answer to #1 Question
Let's see. I am about 3 months into being vegan. I feel great, people who haven't seen me in a while can tell a difference. I am still, obviously, happy with this change. The one question that continues to be brought up is... "What do you eat, anyway?" There are variations of this question such as "Do you eat only rabbit food now?" or "Well, you eat fish, right? I mean, how do you get protein?" and my favorite "I could never do that. Aren't you hungry all the time?"
So I have been keeping track of what I eat every day for the last few days so that I can answer all of these questions in one swoop. And no, I do not eat fish. So let's get this party started with Thursday.
Thursday 3/27/08
My first day of online classes started today. Economics and General Business. I sat by the computer half the day between breaks for highlighting my text and checking on my emails. Food for the day looked like this:
Breakfast - Gorilla Munch Cereal with Vanilla Soy Milk. Raspberry Mocha Smoothie with Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder in it. Yum.
Lunch - Vegan Black Bean Half Burrito from Taco del Mar. Chips. Iced Tea.
Snack - 1/2 Endangered Species Dark Chocolate bar with espresso beans.
Dinner - 1/2 Veggie Pot Pie. Lots of apples and bananas with peanut butter. Glass of Kiona Cab wine. Some veggies with hummus. This was the night of my Arbonne party that barely anyone showed up for. So I followed up as I cleaned up all the uneaten food with a pity party and another glass of wine.
Friday 3/28/08
Good morning juice - Fresh squeezed Grapefruit juice.
Snack/Late Breakfast - Strawberry Mocha Smoothie. Banana.
Lunch - Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. Handful of Kettle chips. Arbonne energy drink. We headed to Seattle while eating our lunch.
Dinner at Cafe Flora - Appetizer of fried avocado with southwestern aoili dip. Yum! Vegan Pizza with tofu ricotta, asparagus and roasted tomatoes on a yummy herb crust. A couple bites of Hayden's ravioli. Dessert of vegan bread pudding with a chocolate topping that was delicious.
More - tall soy cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks. No whip.
Saturday 3/29/08
Breakfast - Amazon Frosted Flakes with vanilla soy milk. Strawberry Mocha Smoothie (I love these smoothies! They are chocolate protein powder, ice cubes, frozen fruit, a scoop of instant coffee and vanilla soy milk).
Snack - Champagne with Chambord as we wait for the locksmith to come rescue us at my sister's house. Way too many macadamia nuts on the car ride down to Chateau St Michele Winery in Woodinville, WA. We are headed to a private tasting and tour.
Winery Tour eats and drinks - well, not too vegan friendly as this is a food and wine pairing tasting and they did not know that 2 of the 6 were vegan. Hayden and I ended up eating lots of strawberries, grapes, kalamata olives, bread and crackers. We also downed 5 pours of different wines that were all Heavenly. Each was about 4 ounces. Then toured the estate with a glass of champagne. Then tried some more wine. And on an empty stomach. It was funny. Then headed back to Bellingham. Had to stop into El Gitano for some karaoke. Duh.
Dinner - el Gitano. The lovely Victoria ensured that we had no icky animal by-products in our meals. I got a black bean enchilada with rice and more black beans on the side. WAY too many chips and lots of pico de gallo. I attempted a grey hound for a drink but it was not working for me so I passed it to Hayden. I drank lots of water and iced tea to prep my voice for a night of singing.
Sunday 3/30/08
We started out the day with a brunch since I was being lazy and didn't cook until 11. Merritt had cereal so don't get upset.
Brunch - Greek Tofu Scramble (crumbled tofu, onions, sun dried tomatoes, kalamata olives, spinach, tumeric and garlic). Potatoes Obrien with paprika, garlic powder, salt pepper and parsley. Very yummy.
Lunch - 1/2 bar of Endangered Species Dark Chocolate with Orange. MMMMM.... Lots of Salt & Vinegar Kettle chips. I know, healthy.
Dinner - I made black bean soup but didn't feel like eating it. I had baked potatoes and steamed asparagus instead with lots of garlic dill seasoning on top. Glass of orange juice.
Dessert - Giant Fuji apple with lotsa peanut butter.
The plan for tomorrow is....
Breakfast - Mocha Smoothie.
Lunch - Black Bean Soup with Garlic Bread
Dinner - Pitas or Sandwiches with Hummus and Veggies. Garlic Fries.
Dessert - I am getting more of that Coconut Sorbet. Period.
My dinner menu plan for the week looks like:
Tuesday - Whole Wheat Pasta Pomodoro with Salad with Poppyseed Dressing and garlic bread.
Wednesday - Boca Burgers and something on the side. Probably sweet potato fries.
Thursday - Thai food. Probably Swimming Ramma with Brown Rice.
Friday - Quinoa Pilaf. Steamed Veggies with Garlic Dill. Fruit Salad.
Saturday - Roasted Veggie Sub Sandwiches.
Sunday - Black Bean Burritos with Spanish Rice.
Monday - Homemade Pizza with Tomato and Fresh Basil.
Tuesday - Spring Rolls and veggie Fried Rice.
So I hope that gives you some sort of look into what we eat and how yummy it really is. Lunches usually consist of sandwiches, soup or something frozen from Trader Joes that is easy to make. Breakfast is a lot of Gorilla Munch (Merritt's favorite cereal) and fresh fruit. Smoothies for me and Hayden. Merr usually has some smoothie, too. And we eat lots of healthy snacks throughout the day. We have fresh cut veggies with dip, apples, oranges, bananas, etc. If you are careful to plan a well balanced vegan menu, you get all the protein, nutrients and everything else you need.
I am off to go get more peanut butter for my apples and to finish my notes for Econ. Later.
So I have been keeping track of what I eat every day for the last few days so that I can answer all of these questions in one swoop. And no, I do not eat fish. So let's get this party started with Thursday.
Thursday 3/27/08
My first day of online classes started today. Economics and General Business. I sat by the computer half the day between breaks for highlighting my text and checking on my emails. Food for the day looked like this:
Breakfast - Gorilla Munch Cereal with Vanilla Soy Milk. Raspberry Mocha Smoothie with Arbonne Chocolate Protein Powder in it. Yum.
Lunch - Vegan Black Bean Half Burrito from Taco del Mar. Chips. Iced Tea.
Snack - 1/2 Endangered Species Dark Chocolate bar with espresso beans.
Dinner - 1/2 Veggie Pot Pie. Lots of apples and bananas with peanut butter. Glass of Kiona Cab wine. Some veggies with hummus. This was the night of my Arbonne party that barely anyone showed up for. So I followed up as I cleaned up all the uneaten food with a pity party and another glass of wine.
Friday 3/28/08
Good morning juice - Fresh squeezed Grapefruit juice.
Snack/Late Breakfast - Strawberry Mocha Smoothie. Banana.
Lunch - Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. Handful of Kettle chips. Arbonne energy drink. We headed to Seattle while eating our lunch.
Dinner at Cafe Flora - Appetizer of fried avocado with southwestern aoili dip. Yum! Vegan Pizza with tofu ricotta, asparagus and roasted tomatoes on a yummy herb crust. A couple bites of Hayden's ravioli. Dessert of vegan bread pudding with a chocolate topping that was delicious.
More - tall soy cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks. No whip.
Saturday 3/29/08
Breakfast - Amazon Frosted Flakes with vanilla soy milk. Strawberry Mocha Smoothie (I love these smoothies! They are chocolate protein powder, ice cubes, frozen fruit, a scoop of instant coffee and vanilla soy milk).
Snack - Champagne with Chambord as we wait for the locksmith to come rescue us at my sister's house. Way too many macadamia nuts on the car ride down to Chateau St Michele Winery in Woodinville, WA. We are headed to a private tasting and tour.
Winery Tour eats and drinks - well, not too vegan friendly as this is a food and wine pairing tasting and they did not know that 2 of the 6 were vegan. Hayden and I ended up eating lots of strawberries, grapes, kalamata olives, bread and crackers. We also downed 5 pours of different wines that were all Heavenly. Each was about 4 ounces. Then toured the estate with a glass of champagne. Then tried some more wine. And on an empty stomach. It was funny. Then headed back to Bellingham. Had to stop into El Gitano for some karaoke. Duh.
Dinner - el Gitano. The lovely Victoria ensured that we had no icky animal by-products in our meals. I got a black bean enchilada with rice and more black beans on the side. WAY too many chips and lots of pico de gallo. I attempted a grey hound for a drink but it was not working for me so I passed it to Hayden. I drank lots of water and iced tea to prep my voice for a night of singing.
Sunday 3/30/08
We started out the day with a brunch since I was being lazy and didn't cook until 11. Merritt had cereal so don't get upset.
Brunch - Greek Tofu Scramble (crumbled tofu, onions, sun dried tomatoes, kalamata olives, spinach, tumeric and garlic). Potatoes Obrien with paprika, garlic powder, salt pepper and parsley. Very yummy.
Lunch - 1/2 bar of Endangered Species Dark Chocolate with Orange. MMMMM.... Lots of Salt & Vinegar Kettle chips. I know, healthy.
Dinner - I made black bean soup but didn't feel like eating it. I had baked potatoes and steamed asparagus instead with lots of garlic dill seasoning on top. Glass of orange juice.
Dessert - Giant Fuji apple with lotsa peanut butter.
The plan for tomorrow is....
Breakfast - Mocha Smoothie.
Lunch - Black Bean Soup with Garlic Bread
Dinner - Pitas or Sandwiches with Hummus and Veggies. Garlic Fries.
Dessert - I am getting more of that Coconut Sorbet. Period.
My dinner menu plan for the week looks like:
Tuesday - Whole Wheat Pasta Pomodoro with Salad with Poppyseed Dressing and garlic bread.
Wednesday - Boca Burgers and something on the side. Probably sweet potato fries.
Thursday - Thai food. Probably Swimming Ramma with Brown Rice.
Friday - Quinoa Pilaf. Steamed Veggies with Garlic Dill. Fruit Salad.
Saturday - Roasted Veggie Sub Sandwiches.
Sunday - Black Bean Burritos with Spanish Rice.
Monday - Homemade Pizza with Tomato and Fresh Basil.
Tuesday - Spring Rolls and veggie Fried Rice.
So I hope that gives you some sort of look into what we eat and how yummy it really is. Lunches usually consist of sandwiches, soup or something frozen from Trader Joes that is easy to make. Breakfast is a lot of Gorilla Munch (Merritt's favorite cereal) and fresh fruit. Smoothies for me and Hayden. Merr usually has some smoothie, too. And we eat lots of healthy snacks throughout the day. We have fresh cut veggies with dip, apples, oranges, bananas, etc. If you are careful to plan a well balanced vegan menu, you get all the protein, nutrients and everything else you need.
I am off to go get more peanut butter for my apples and to finish my notes for Econ. Later.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Cafe Flora, economics and why am I up so late?
I am up late again. So many things to do, so little time. I am gearing up for many changes in our lives here in the next few weeks. I am starting school in a couple of days. I have two online courses and one class on campus. I am 4 quarters away from my degree and I am really excited to embark on this new adventure. I went into WCC the other day. It was so bizarre. I was pumped to be there again. I got a few of my books and I started reading them that day. From what I recall of my prior days of college, I never looked forward to a whole lot of anything to do with school. My main priority was figuring out what class I could afford to skip that week so I could spend more time with my boyfriend. I think it will be challenging but really a good step for our family... to get me out of the house and into an adult setting again. I really need more social time. I am such a people person and it's really hard for me on days that I am cleaning up the third glass of spilled soy milk and am scrubbing the floors again to really remember how grateful I truly am to be blessed enough to stay home with my little baby bear. I don't want to be absent so using the term "absence makes the heart grow fonder" doesn't really fit. I guess for me maybe it would be phrased something like "Time to remember who I am makes me more appreciative of my blessed life." Does that sound right? I don't know but it makes sense to me.
So what are the other changes? Well, Hayden and I have a little plan cooking up (no, I am not pregnant). You will have to stay tuned to see if we can take it to the place we want to. And if we do, I promise you will be happy and so will we.
We are setting our whole plan into action of changing our lives. Now we're healthier physically... it's time to get healthy spiritually, mentally, financially. I have been singing my baby to sleep every night with Amazing Grace and I tell you what... having a toddler fall asleep on my shoulder as I sing to him... that right there really is amazing grace. It puts things into perspective. Hayden and I want to live passionately and with no fears, no regrets... always remembering that this life is too short to miss out on LIFE. We want to make just enough money to pay our bills so we can survive and eat yummy vegan food. Money is just a thing. The opportunity cost of living my life without making money to hoard away, to buy things that clutter up my house... it would definitely be missing out on a lot of fabulous fashion-related items... but I am investing in the richness of my life, so in the end I leave this earth smiling and having my son remember that mommy and daddy really LIVED (see, Economics really is pertinent to real life). What could I take to the ends of the earth that no one can ever take away from me? My memories. So I am here to make more of them with my family and my friends. And along the way in the next few months you too may learn about economics or event planning or business right along with me.
I hope my little blog finds you in happy place. On that note I will leave you with one wonderful restaurant recommendation.
Cafe Flora - Madison Street. Seattle, Washington.
Let's talk about happy vegans for a moment. Cafe Flora is nestled between cute little buildings in a suburb-type area of Seattle. This restaurant looks simple from the front. Then you look at the menu posted outside... and if you are vegan like me, you squeal with delight! So many options, clearly lined out on the menu. Hayden and I had a nice little lunch together and we both enjoyed food without any fear of animal products creeping in without our knowledge. I had a black eyed pea curry soup with a very delicious salad and about 10 bites off Hayden's plate... Hayden's plate full of heavenly potatoes and "Chorizo" Southwestern Scramble. His also came with a little piece of coffee cake that was our dessert. While we waited for our food I sipped on Rosemary Lemonade... probably the second best lemonade I have ever had (and that is saying a lot because numero uno is like, well, numero uno I guess). I browsed through their cookbook and decided to buy one to bring home. I am getting so many amazing ideas already! The service was normal, not the very best but for that amazing food, we didn't care. And did I mention the take-out vegan Sticky Buns? I have been picking at those for a few days and they still taste just as good as when they were hot out of the oven. So next time you're in Seattle, definitely check out Cafe Flora. You won't be disappointed! It's yummy for vegans, vegetarians and carnivores alike (but don't show up there expecting any meat because then you will be disappointed).
So what are the other changes? Well, Hayden and I have a little plan cooking up (no, I am not pregnant). You will have to stay tuned to see if we can take it to the place we want to. And if we do, I promise you will be happy and so will we.
We are setting our whole plan into action of changing our lives. Now we're healthier physically... it's time to get healthy spiritually, mentally, financially. I have been singing my baby to sleep every night with Amazing Grace and I tell you what... having a toddler fall asleep on my shoulder as I sing to him... that right there really is amazing grace. It puts things into perspective. Hayden and I want to live passionately and with no fears, no regrets... always remembering that this life is too short to miss out on LIFE. We want to make just enough money to pay our bills so we can survive and eat yummy vegan food. Money is just a thing. The opportunity cost of living my life without making money to hoard away, to buy things that clutter up my house... it would definitely be missing out on a lot of fabulous fashion-related items... but I am investing in the richness of my life, so in the end I leave this earth smiling and having my son remember that mommy and daddy really LIVED (see, Economics really is pertinent to real life). What could I take to the ends of the earth that no one can ever take away from me? My memories. So I am here to make more of them with my family and my friends. And along the way in the next few months you too may learn about economics or event planning or business right along with me.
I hope my little blog finds you in happy place. On that note I will leave you with one wonderful restaurant recommendation.
Cafe Flora - Madison Street. Seattle, Washington.
Let's talk about happy vegans for a moment. Cafe Flora is nestled between cute little buildings in a suburb-type area of Seattle. This restaurant looks simple from the front. Then you look at the menu posted outside... and if you are vegan like me, you squeal with delight! So many options, clearly lined out on the menu. Hayden and I had a nice little lunch together and we both enjoyed food without any fear of animal products creeping in without our knowledge. I had a black eyed pea curry soup with a very delicious salad and about 10 bites off Hayden's plate... Hayden's plate full of heavenly potatoes and "Chorizo" Southwestern Scramble. His also came with a little piece of coffee cake that was our dessert. While we waited for our food I sipped on Rosemary Lemonade... probably the second best lemonade I have ever had (and that is saying a lot because numero uno is like, well, numero uno I guess). I browsed through their cookbook and decided to buy one to bring home. I am getting so many amazing ideas already! The service was normal, not the very best but for that amazing food, we didn't care. And did I mention the take-out vegan Sticky Buns? I have been picking at those for a few days and they still taste just as good as when they were hot out of the oven. So next time you're in Seattle, definitely check out Cafe Flora. You won't be disappointed! It's yummy for vegans, vegetarians and carnivores alike (but don't show up there expecting any meat because then you will be disappointed).
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
When God Speaks
I have been a bit stressed lately. The perils of being a small business owner have hit hard in the last few weeks and money is tight. This, of course, after we have a plan to get out of debt and to be successful financially as well as personally. We have a budget and we stick to it. We have been diligent about our goal and it has been going well. Then we hit March and all of a sudden Hayden has had very little work. As you know, in construction things don't always go as you might plan them. Sunday morning I had reached my point. That point when I was either going to go psycho like a mad woman on someone or I was just going to crawl under the covers, stay in my jammies all day and feel sorry for myself. I believe it takes getting to that point before you are ready to learn a lesson or allow God to take control of the situation. I said a prayer... it's in your hands Lord. I give it all to you. But please take this from us. PLEASE!
I called up my mom. She is a good listener. I told her in detail how I was feeling, how stressed I am and that I don't know what to do. Hence the selling of Arbonne, going back to school to get paid for it, selling all my clothes at consignment... attempting to sell everything we own to get past this moment. She listened and reminded me to give it to God. What I really needed was just for someone to listen and she helped me by just allowing me to vent. So I got out of bed and decided to face the day with a smile. Less than 3 hours later I got a phone call from Hayden. We sold the property we inherited from Hayden's dad.
It will close within the next few weeks and we will have more than enough money in the bank to make our goals a reality. Debt will be paid off. We can finally close up Steve's estate and allow him to rest in peace without all of that junk hanging over our heads anymore (this will probably end up being the biggest blessing of the whole lot). We can jet off to Hawaii to renew our vows on the beach like we promised each other. We can get everything in order to sell our house and move down on the family property. We can give our marriage some breathing room with the heavy burden of debt and the estate of a parent still in probate almost 3 years later... all lifted off of us.
It's funny how God listens and He answers prayers. Just not always in the way we think He will or in the way we have planned. But nonetheless, prayers were answered with that offer on the property and in about a month we will see our goals become a reality. I think I will probably cry tears of joy the day we are handed that check. So thanks be to God for knowing what we truly needed right now... and for finding a way to make it happen. Amen!
I called up my mom. She is a good listener. I told her in detail how I was feeling, how stressed I am and that I don't know what to do. Hence the selling of Arbonne, going back to school to get paid for it, selling all my clothes at consignment... attempting to sell everything we own to get past this moment. She listened and reminded me to give it to God. What I really needed was just for someone to listen and she helped me by just allowing me to vent. So I got out of bed and decided to face the day with a smile. Less than 3 hours later I got a phone call from Hayden. We sold the property we inherited from Hayden's dad.
It will close within the next few weeks and we will have more than enough money in the bank to make our goals a reality. Debt will be paid off. We can finally close up Steve's estate and allow him to rest in peace without all of that junk hanging over our heads anymore (this will probably end up being the biggest blessing of the whole lot). We can jet off to Hawaii to renew our vows on the beach like we promised each other. We can get everything in order to sell our house and move down on the family property. We can give our marriage some breathing room with the heavy burden of debt and the estate of a parent still in probate almost 3 years later... all lifted off of us.
It's funny how God listens and He answers prayers. Just not always in the way we think He will or in the way we have planned. But nonetheless, prayers were answered with that offer on the property and in about a month we will see our goals become a reality. I think I will probably cry tears of joy the day we are handed that check. So thanks be to God for knowing what we truly needed right now... and for finding a way to make it happen. Amen!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Lemon-Lime Vanilla Drop Recipe and Random Ramblings.
Just a little update from the home front here in my cold neck of the woods. I am currently working on getting enrolled and registered and yada yada yada to return to college in a few weeks. I will be completing my Business Admin degree with a focus on tourism and hotel business management. I am very excited for a bit of a change in pace around here. I have been needing something for myself and I think this will help a lot. I will be going full time on a federal grant and so everything will be paid for and taken care of. Very exciting! I am only 56 credits from completing my degree (thank you Running Start!) so I should be graduating next June!
I am also very excited about my newest discovery in the world of vegan products... Arbonne! Arbonne is a company that has skin care, makeup, nutritional products, baby products, sun care and so much more. I was so convinced on their product and company beliefs that I decided to become an Independent Consultant. So far I am loving it and am excited to share the products with others. It's easy and fun when the product really does sell itself. And when I really believe in the company, it's mission and goals and the high quality of what I am selling and using. Woo Hoo for Arbonne.
Other than that, I am just busy trying to organize my home and my life before I hit the books. I want more order around here so I will have a calm place to study and do my homework. Ha! Yeah right. I know. I have a two year old and a husband; but, one can hope. I am busy working on new recipes to post but I need to perfect them a bit more. I promised you a cookie recipe and a crouton recipe and I am slacking. Sorry. Once I have a bit more energy I will get to it. I will, however, leave you with a great lemon-lime vanilla drop recipe that hit the spot for me on this St Patty's day. So cheers to finding your pot of gold... whatever that might be!
Lemon-Lime Vanilla Drop
2 Large Lemons
2 Large Limes
5 oz vanilla vodka (don't get the cheap stuff, it isn't worth it)
1/4 cup or so of sugar (and not the icky kind processed with charred animal bones)
Water
Shaker, Peeler, Reamer, Muddler, Pitcher... and cute martini glasses!
Shave the skin off the lemons and limes into a shallow bowl. Be careful to shave only the colored part of the rind and avoid getting to much of the white stuff (pith). Once you have all the rind peeled from the lemons and limes, add the sugar over the rinds and let this mixture sit for a while. I allowed for about 45 minutes. Sniff vanilla vodka to get yourself in the mood.
Once the peels have sat for enough time, pour enough water to cover the mixture and stir until the sugar dissolves. Add to a pitcher. Add about 1 cup of water. Juice the lemons and limes into the pitcher. Stir and taste. Make sure it is sweet enough to your liking for a martini. It all depends on the person, right? Right.
Next, fish out some of the rind and add it to an ice filled martini shaker. Muddle the rinds with the ice until you feel like you have taken out your aggressions for the day. Add in your sweet little lemon lime mixture and the vanilla vodka. Shake, shake, shake. Shake like a bar tending rock star. You know you want to. Strain into glasses and enjoy. But don't enjoy too much. I highly recommend paying attention to how fast you drink this because it's like candy and you can over-do it quick!
And oopsie... did I forget to mention that this is good for about 3-4 drinks? Right. I wouldn't be putting out recipes for one drink that include 5oz of vodka. I hope y'all know that!
Happy St Pat's Day everyday. I hear Irish music in the background of my mind. I guess that means it's time for bed...
I am also very excited about my newest discovery in the world of vegan products... Arbonne! Arbonne is a company that has skin care, makeup, nutritional products, baby products, sun care and so much more. I was so convinced on their product and company beliefs that I decided to become an Independent Consultant. So far I am loving it and am excited to share the products with others. It's easy and fun when the product really does sell itself. And when I really believe in the company, it's mission and goals and the high quality of what I am selling and using. Woo Hoo for Arbonne.
Other than that, I am just busy trying to organize my home and my life before I hit the books. I want more order around here so I will have a calm place to study and do my homework. Ha! Yeah right. I know. I have a two year old and a husband; but, one can hope. I am busy working on new recipes to post but I need to perfect them a bit more. I promised you a cookie recipe and a crouton recipe and I am slacking. Sorry. Once I have a bit more energy I will get to it. I will, however, leave you with a great lemon-lime vanilla drop recipe that hit the spot for me on this St Patty's day. So cheers to finding your pot of gold... whatever that might be!
Lemon-Lime Vanilla Drop
2 Large Lemons
2 Large Limes
5 oz vanilla vodka (don't get the cheap stuff, it isn't worth it)
1/4 cup or so of sugar (and not the icky kind processed with charred animal bones)
Water
Shaker, Peeler, Reamer, Muddler, Pitcher... and cute martini glasses!
Shave the skin off the lemons and limes into a shallow bowl. Be careful to shave only the colored part of the rind and avoid getting to much of the white stuff (pith). Once you have all the rind peeled from the lemons and limes, add the sugar over the rinds and let this mixture sit for a while. I allowed for about 45 minutes. Sniff vanilla vodka to get yourself in the mood.
Once the peels have sat for enough time, pour enough water to cover the mixture and stir until the sugar dissolves. Add to a pitcher. Add about 1 cup of water. Juice the lemons and limes into the pitcher. Stir and taste. Make sure it is sweet enough to your liking for a martini. It all depends on the person, right? Right.
Next, fish out some of the rind and add it to an ice filled martini shaker. Muddle the rinds with the ice until you feel like you have taken out your aggressions for the day. Add in your sweet little lemon lime mixture and the vanilla vodka. Shake, shake, shake. Shake like a bar tending rock star. You know you want to. Strain into glasses and enjoy. But don't enjoy too much. I highly recommend paying attention to how fast you drink this because it's like candy and you can over-do it quick!
And oopsie... did I forget to mention that this is good for about 3-4 drinks? Right. I wouldn't be putting out recipes for one drink that include 5oz of vodka. I hope y'all know that!
Happy St Pat's Day everyday. I hear Irish music in the background of my mind. I guess that means it's time for bed...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Recipes Galore.
I posted some of my new and old favorites this morning for your cooking and eating pleasure. After getting many requests I decided I had better get on it and start sharing this wholesome goodness with the world. Within the week I will be posting my all time favorite Very Chocolatey Coconut Chocolate Chip and Walnut Cookie recipe and my Good Enough to Eat Alone Crouton recipe. Stay tuned and let me know if you have any specific requests. I'd be happy to share!
Veggie Puff Pillows with Basil-ee Tomato Sauce
I concocted up this recipe last night to try to use up some of our fresh veggies in the fridge... and to try something other than stir fry or any of the other standbys we have been eating lately. I was so happy with the results. We love puff pastry and I used to try lots of recipes in my non-vegan days, so I guess this is just a healthier and much yummier variation. Enjoy!
Veggie Puff Pillows
1 sheet puff pastry, thawed
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup onion, diced
5 medium stalks of asparagus, diced
1/4 cup yellow pepper, diced
1/4 cup green pepper, diced
1/4 cup kalamata olives, diced
2 plum tomatoes diced
1/4 cup pine nuts
1 tsp Italian seasoning
3 tsp dried or frozen chopped basil
1 cup baby spinach, chopped
Salt and Pepper to taste
For sprinkling: pinch of salt, pepper and dried basil
Cooking Spray
Small dish of water
Preheat oven to 425. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray and set aside. Cut thawed puff pastry into 12 even squares and allow to rest on a floured cutting board.
In a large skillet, saute onion and garlic for 2 minutes over medium heat. Add yellow and green peppers, carrots, asparagus, kalamata olives and pine nuts. Season with basil, Italian seasoning and salt and pepper. Saute for an additional 3-5 minutes until flavors are combined. Drop in baby spinach and stir for about 1-2 minutes until spinach begins to wilt. Turn off heat. Allow to cool for a couple minutes. Transfer mixture to a bowl.
Spoon 1 tbsp of mixture onto center of 6 of the puff pastry squares. Using your fingers, dab water around edges of each filled pastry square. Then go to work on the tops. Slightly stretch each remaining square using gentle pressure and set a top onto each filled square. Crimp edges with a fork. Puncture top with a fork to allow steam to escape during baking. Place on greased cookie sheet. Spray tops with cooking spray and sprinkle with basil, salt and pepper. Cook until tops are golden brown and pastries have puffed. Approximately 18 minutes in my oven. Allow puff pillows to cool for 10-15 minutes. Serve with Basil-ee Tomato Sauce (see below) for dipping.
Basil-ee Tomato Sauce
Why by tomato sauce when you can make a healthier, inexpensive version in minutes!
2 tbsp olive oil
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup onion, diced
4 tsp dried or frozen basil
1 28-oz can of crushed tomatoes with basil
2 tbsp Italian seasoning
Salt and Pepper to taste
2 tbsp ground flax seed
In a medium sauce pan, saute onion and garlic in olive oil over medium heat for two minutes. Add crushed tomatoes, basil and Italian seasoning. Salt and Pepper to taste. Stir until well combined. Reduce heat and simmer at least 5 minutes (I know you're impatient...) but more is better to allow flavors to incorporate well. Mix in flax seed and stir to incorporate. Simmer an additional 2 minutes and serve. This goes well over pasta dishes, as a pizza sauce or as a dipping sauce for bread sticks or puff pastry pillows. Healthy and tastes good. My favorite combo!
If you want to take advantage of my favorite "I'm feeling lazy and want to pull something out of the freezer for dinner" method... allow remaining sauce to cool and transfer to 1 qt freezer bags. This freezes well. You will probably use up all the left over sauce within a couple weeks... but if you don't, I would suggest trying to use it all up within 3 months.
Veggie Puff Pillows
1 sheet puff pastry, thawed
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup onion, diced
5 medium stalks of asparagus, diced
1/4 cup yellow pepper, diced
1/4 cup green pepper, diced
1/4 cup kalamata olives, diced
2 plum tomatoes diced
1/4 cup pine nuts
1 tsp Italian seasoning
3 tsp dried or frozen chopped basil
1 cup baby spinach, chopped
Salt and Pepper to taste
For sprinkling: pinch of salt, pepper and dried basil
Cooking Spray
Small dish of water
Preheat oven to 425. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray and set aside. Cut thawed puff pastry into 12 even squares and allow to rest on a floured cutting board.
In a large skillet, saute onion and garlic for 2 minutes over medium heat. Add yellow and green peppers, carrots, asparagus, kalamata olives and pine nuts. Season with basil, Italian seasoning and salt and pepper. Saute for an additional 3-5 minutes until flavors are combined. Drop in baby spinach and stir for about 1-2 minutes until spinach begins to wilt. Turn off heat. Allow to cool for a couple minutes. Transfer mixture to a bowl.
Spoon 1 tbsp of mixture onto center of 6 of the puff pastry squares. Using your fingers, dab water around edges of each filled pastry square. Then go to work on the tops. Slightly stretch each remaining square using gentle pressure and set a top onto each filled square. Crimp edges with a fork. Puncture top with a fork to allow steam to escape during baking. Place on greased cookie sheet. Spray tops with cooking spray and sprinkle with basil, salt and pepper. Cook until tops are golden brown and pastries have puffed. Approximately 18 minutes in my oven. Allow puff pillows to cool for 10-15 minutes. Serve with Basil-ee Tomato Sauce (see below) for dipping.
Basil-ee Tomato Sauce
Why by tomato sauce when you can make a healthier, inexpensive version in minutes!
2 tbsp olive oil
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup onion, diced
4 tsp dried or frozen basil
1 28-oz can of crushed tomatoes with basil
2 tbsp Italian seasoning
Salt and Pepper to taste
2 tbsp ground flax seed
In a medium sauce pan, saute onion and garlic in olive oil over medium heat for two minutes. Add crushed tomatoes, basil and Italian seasoning. Salt and Pepper to taste. Stir until well combined. Reduce heat and simmer at least 5 minutes (I know you're impatient...) but more is better to allow flavors to incorporate well. Mix in flax seed and stir to incorporate. Simmer an additional 2 minutes and serve. This goes well over pasta dishes, as a pizza sauce or as a dipping sauce for bread sticks or puff pastry pillows. Healthy and tastes good. My favorite combo!
If you want to take advantage of my favorite "I'm feeling lazy and want to pull something out of the freezer for dinner" method... allow remaining sauce to cool and transfer to 1 qt freezer bags. This freezes well. You will probably use up all the left over sauce within a couple weeks... but if you don't, I would suggest trying to use it all up within 3 months.
Abby's Favorite Black Bean Chili
I am obsessed with this black bean chili. I got a freezer meal from one of those prepared dinner places. It was so blah-bland. So I decided I could do a much better recipe by adding some of my favorite Mexican flavors. And alas, I was correct and one of my favorite meals was born.
2 tbsp canola oil
1 medium onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup celery, diced
1/2 cup carrot, diced
28 oz canned tomatoes, diced or crushed
28 oz canned black beans, drained and rinsed
8 oz tomato sauce
1 quart vegetable broth
1 cup frozen sweet corn
1 cup cilantro, finely chopped
1 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp chili powder
Crushed red pepper flake, to taste
Salt & Pepper, to taste
Saute onion, garlic, carrot and celery in canola oil for 3 minutes over medium heat. Add all remaining ingredients and stir to incorporate. For those of you who like it spicy (like me), shake that red pepper flake in until your arm starts to tire. Then give a couple extra shakes for good measure. Do not serve to children or my husband this way. That would be cruel.
Simmer for 30 minutes over low heat. Serve with tortilla chips or corn bread. Allow leftover chili to cool and transfer to 1 qt freezer bags. Freeze for up to 3 months. To reheat, thaw chili in fridge and warm in a sauce pan.
Crock Pot Directions: Combine all ingredients minus canola oil and set on low heat for 4-6 hours.
Black Bean Stew with Warmed Tortillas: Add only 1/4 quart of vegetable broth. Simmer to a stew-like consistency. Serve with warmed tortillas, soy cheddar cheese and sour cream substitute.
2 tbsp canola oil
1 medium onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup celery, diced
1/2 cup carrot, diced
28 oz canned tomatoes, diced or crushed
28 oz canned black beans, drained and rinsed
8 oz tomato sauce
1 quart vegetable broth
1 cup frozen sweet corn
1 cup cilantro, finely chopped
1 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp chili powder
Crushed red pepper flake, to taste
Salt & Pepper, to taste
Saute onion, garlic, carrot and celery in canola oil for 3 minutes over medium heat. Add all remaining ingredients and stir to incorporate. For those of you who like it spicy (like me), shake that red pepper flake in until your arm starts to tire. Then give a couple extra shakes for good measure. Do not serve to children or my husband this way. That would be cruel.
Simmer for 30 minutes over low heat. Serve with tortilla chips or corn bread. Allow leftover chili to cool and transfer to 1 qt freezer bags. Freeze for up to 3 months. To reheat, thaw chili in fridge and warm in a sauce pan.
Crock Pot Directions: Combine all ingredients minus canola oil and set on low heat for 4-6 hours.
Black Bean Stew with Warmed Tortillas: Add only 1/4 quart of vegetable broth. Simmer to a stew-like consistency. Serve with warmed tortillas, soy cheddar cheese and sour cream substitute.
Lemon Quinoa Medley
For those of you who do not know, quinoa is a grain that is being dubbed as the super-food of the future. I have been hesitant to try it out for some odd reason but I decided to go for it and create a recipe with some of my favorite things to ensure it would be edible. Was it ever! I thought there was enough for leftovers but we scarfed every last bit of it. This will definitely become a staple in our house. And for those of you blessed to have a Trader Joe's near by - they sell organic quinoa for MUCH less than anywhere else I have found!
1 cup Quinoa
2 cups Vegetable Broth
1 tbsp Lemon Juice
1/2 cup Onion, diced
2 cloves Garlic, crushed
1/4 cup Carrot, diced
1/4 cup Celery, diced
1/2 cup Bell Pepper (Your favorite color), diced
1/4 cup Slivered Almonds
1/4 cup Golden Raisins
2 tbsp Italian Seasoning
Salt and Pepper to Taste
Bring quinoa, vegetable broth and lemon juice to a boil in a 1.5 quart sauce pan. Reduce to a simmer and cover. Simmer for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, in a skillet saute onion and garlic for 2 minutes in olive oil. Add vegetables, Italian seasonings, and salt & pepper to taste. Saute an additional 5 minutes. Add almonds and golden raisins and continue to saute for 2 more minutes. Turn off heat.
Add vegetable mixture to cooked quinoa and stir to incorporate. This is hearty enough to be a meal in itself!
1 cup Quinoa
2 cups Vegetable Broth
1 tbsp Lemon Juice
1/2 cup Onion, diced
2 cloves Garlic, crushed
1/4 cup Carrot, diced
1/4 cup Celery, diced
1/2 cup Bell Pepper (Your favorite color), diced
1/4 cup Slivered Almonds
1/4 cup Golden Raisins
2 tbsp Italian Seasoning
Salt and Pepper to Taste
Bring quinoa, vegetable broth and lemon juice to a boil in a 1.5 quart sauce pan. Reduce to a simmer and cover. Simmer for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, in a skillet saute onion and garlic for 2 minutes in olive oil. Add vegetables, Italian seasonings, and salt & pepper to taste. Saute an additional 5 minutes. Add almonds and golden raisins and continue to saute for 2 more minutes. Turn off heat.
Add vegetable mixture to cooked quinoa and stir to incorporate. This is hearty enough to be a meal in itself!
Blood Orange Roasted Tomato & Asparagus Pasta with Walnuts
Long name, I know. But this is packed full of flavor and yummy goodness. It was so good we didn't even have to coax Merritt to eat his vegetables!
1 pint Cherry Tomatoes, quartered
1 pound Asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1" pieces
2 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tbsp Italian Seasoning
Juice of 1 medium Blood Orange
Zest of 1/2 Blood Orange
Juice of 1/2 small Lemon
Zest of 1/2 Lemon
1 tsp Cane Juice Sugar
Splash of White Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup Walnut pieces, toasted
1 pound Whole Wheat Pasta
Salt and Pepper to taste
Nutritional Yeast, optional
Preheat oven to 425. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray. In a large bowl whisk 1 tbsp olive oil and Italian seasoning. Drop in asparagus and tomatoes. Stir gently until coated. Transfer to baking sheet in single layer. Roast for 15-20 minutes in oven, or until tomatoes start to wilt and the edges begin to char.
Boil pasta according to directions in salted water. Reserve 1/4 cup pasta water.
While pasta is boiling... using a medium sauce pan over low heat combine juices and zest of the blood orange and lemon, sugar, white balsamic vinegar and remaining 1 tbsp of olive oil. Whisk until combined. Bring to a simmer and add 1/4 cup of reserved pasta water. Salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over low heat 5 minutes to reduce the sauce to a bubbly consistency.
Ideally, your pasta will be done cooking at the same time that your sauce has become bubbly and you are about to take the tomatoes and asparagus out of the oven. You might have to do it a couple times before you get it down to that science.
Transfer pasta, walnuts and roasted vegetables to a large serving dish. Pour blood orange sauce over top. Using tongs, toss until sauce has reached every little nook and cranny of the dish. Serve warm. Top with nutritional yeast if desired. Enjoy!
1 pint Cherry Tomatoes, quartered
1 pound Asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1" pieces
2 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tbsp Italian Seasoning
Juice of 1 medium Blood Orange
Zest of 1/2 Blood Orange
Juice of 1/2 small Lemon
Zest of 1/2 Lemon
1 tsp Cane Juice Sugar
Splash of White Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup Walnut pieces, toasted
1 pound Whole Wheat Pasta
Salt and Pepper to taste
Nutritional Yeast, optional
Preheat oven to 425. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray. In a large bowl whisk 1 tbsp olive oil and Italian seasoning. Drop in asparagus and tomatoes. Stir gently until coated. Transfer to baking sheet in single layer. Roast for 15-20 minutes in oven, or until tomatoes start to wilt and the edges begin to char.
Boil pasta according to directions in salted water. Reserve 1/4 cup pasta water.
While pasta is boiling... using a medium sauce pan over low heat combine juices and zest of the blood orange and lemon, sugar, white balsamic vinegar and remaining 1 tbsp of olive oil. Whisk until combined. Bring to a simmer and add 1/4 cup of reserved pasta water. Salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over low heat 5 minutes to reduce the sauce to a bubbly consistency.
Ideally, your pasta will be done cooking at the same time that your sauce has become bubbly and you are about to take the tomatoes and asparagus out of the oven. You might have to do it a couple times before you get it down to that science.
Transfer pasta, walnuts and roasted vegetables to a large serving dish. Pour blood orange sauce over top. Using tongs, toss until sauce has reached every little nook and cranny of the dish. Serve warm. Top with nutritional yeast if desired. Enjoy!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Cold Rosemary Potatoes in EVOO
Exciting day today. Merritt and I headed off to do our usual errands. He has been quite the pill over the last week so I decided to not allow him to take a nap today... let's all see how that goes. Ha. Anyhow, we headed off around noon. This after making breakfast (he refused the oatmeal but was content with cereal, so whatever), showering and getting myself and a bouncy toddler ready to head out the door. I finally got my hair highlighted so I wouldn't look so "pale" as Josh pointed out to me. Hey, don't hate. I can appreciate some truth once in a while. He even told me to check out a particular picture of me. I was pale. He was right. That's what I love about a true friend. They will tell you that you look like shit in hopes that one day you will do the same for them.
So yes, highlights in the black hair to hopefully tone down the whitey-ness and pastey-like appearance I have been toting around. I like it. I am more of a chunky highlights with lots of hair drama type of girl anyway. So of course, I had to spend some extra time on the hair to see what I could do with it now that I have a new look. And I have to admit, I was inspired a bit, as I always am, by America's Next Top Model and their perfect makeover show for cycle 10. I love it. Watching little girls flip out over "short" hair. Waaa. Waaa. It's great. If I were able to have a supermodel give me advice on style of any sort, I would take it. Anyway, I am off track and you are starting to wonder what any of this has to do with cold rosemary potatoes, right? Right, so let's get to it. Merritt and I headed off. We needed TP, more natural toothpaste, some new soap that is a little less disgusting and some deodorant for mama that doesn't have carcinogens in it. Switching over to vegan-ism has taught me a lot about EVERYTHING I am putting into and on my body. I started looking at labels in my shower and just about everything has to go. Sad. But not so much. So Merr and I hit up Target first. He is so much fun and easy to entertain. I brought in an organic apple juice box for him and that kept him busy for the first 20 minutes of shopping. I tried on a couple swimsuits. Now that I am 20 pounds less than I have been any summer for the last 10... I figured I should get a hot swimsuit. Plus, I am on a budget which leads me more and more to want to purchase things I do not absolutely need. Fortunately for the budget, I was not convinced on any of the swimsuits. So we headed off to get our real necessities.
After finishing up we met up with my twin sister and her gaggle of children for a fun afternoon of screaming, arguing and breaking up fights with cookies (that would be me). I transferred Merritt's car seat into her mommy van and we were off. After a few stops for her, it was my turn for a break from the children. I ran into the Food Co-Op to grab some produce and somehow ended up standing in the chocolate isle for far too long. I passed it up which is rather shocking considering how much I have been craving chocolate lately. I headed outside after lingering a bit longer to ensure that I took advantage of my time away from the kiddos. Out to the van it was. Surprisingly for me, some cute hippie followed me out of the co-op to try to make small talk. Cute. But then I saw him eye the rock on my finger and he smiled and turned around. Have I mentioned that having someone want to make small talk with me or try to get my number... well that can keep a married girl smiling for months. I've still got it folks. That's right. Hot mom, wife and homemaker. Anyway... rosemary potatoes, I know.
We head off to get some lunch for Anna's screaming children and end up at a Mexican take-out place. You may have seen them on that show "Dirty Jobs" for turning their oil into bio-diesel, which, by-the-way, my husband did two times. I ran inside to grab a couple vegan burritos for me and Merr and somehow got suckered into paying for and picking up a shredded beef burrito for my brother in law. It really grossed me out and the smell permeated my beautiful bag of vegan goodness. Tragic. Then me and the sis and all the kids headed off to a park to enjoy our Mexican late lunch. Once we got to the park, the children who had been screaming about being SOOO hungry could care less about food. They wanted to chase each other and not listen to their mommies. It was about 45 degrees out but I was freezing. And the fact that I was wearing very adorable heels did not help my case as far as corralling children went. But we got them their outdoors time and a chance for me and Anna to scarf down two bags of take-out tortilla chips. It was good. The kids chased a couple squirrels and then we decided it was time to leave.
Somehow I ended up in Target again but this time Merritt was no angel. Remember, no nap? Right. It was about 4pm by now and he was not having anything to do with being good, listening to mommy, minding, NOT screaming. You know, typical I am about to melt down drama. For him and me. So Merritt and I got out of there as fast as we could before I lost it in the middle of Target and had some mom in her mom jeans glare at me like I am the scum of the earth.
I call Hayden for some moral support and he says we need to drive 45 minutes away to get a part for his truck that he is trading for a Mustang tomorrow. Yay! Just what I need, 45 minutes in a car with an unhappy toddler who has not had a nap. Woo hoo! So I grabbed more vegan cookies and we were off. Our happy little family. About 35 minutes into it, Merritt could no longer hold his head up and his eyes were rolling open and closed. It was really funny. Hayden decided to take advantage of the fact that I didn't want to go inside the auto parts store to strike up a 30 minute conversation with a stranger about Porsche's. It was fun. For him.
Just as he barreled his way back into the car (and after 3 harassing text/picture messages of my bored face), Merritt woke up. And once he wakes up from a late nap, he is even worse, usually, then he was before he woke up. But we were all hungry so we decided to hit up some chain Italian restaurant (and NOT olive garden). We waited for 20 minutes. Hayden asked about 5 minutes into it if their pasta had egg in it. We still didn't have an answer until just before we were seated. Yup, eggs in the pasta. Now you are getting the rosemary potatoes, right?
Our waitress bounces over... a skinny blonde 20ish girl. She takes our drink orders and Hayden starts in on his questions. Now for those of you who have ever gone to a restaurant with Hayden, you know what this can be like. Pure agony. However, now that we are vegan, it's even lengthier and more frustrating for everyone involved. The waitress was confused (shocker) about what vegan meant and even said maybe we could just try the pecan chicken dish without cheese. Yum! Her vegetarian server friend overheard that she had a vegan table (wonder how, I bet she wasn't complaining about us) and he came up with some meal ideas for us. Then the manager came over with an ingredient book to make sure we were happy and confident in our orders. We ended up ordering the bread without butter smothered on it for a starter... then green salads with red pepper balsamic vinaigrette and for the main dish... roasted rosemary potatoes that are then finished in a frying pan with EVOO. Sounded ok. My cooking is far better but we are over an hour from home, so any food will do at this point. Or so I think.
Our bread comes out and it is heavenly. We all dig in and almost completely finished 2 loaves. Then salads and they are great too. Our waitress still didn't seem too impressed by us, especially between Merritt's coughing fits from all his running around earlier combined with his massive fit at bedtime last night that left his voice hoarse and his little cough sounding awful.
Then comes the main dish. Some other gal brought it over to us. It looked really great. Lots of potatoes and I could smell the rosemary right when she set it in front of me. Yum. I dig in. First potato, cold. Second potato, cold. Third potato I dug to the bottom of the dish... it was even colder! At this point I am not too happy but I don't want to be the angry vegan who asked all the questions and then complains about cold food. So I choke down a few more. And just as my stomach starts to turn the manager comes back over to check on us. "How is everything" she asks... Hayden and I looked at each other and chuckled. This as our waitress starts our direction, too. I said "I hate to say this, but the potatoes are cold." The waitress made eye contact with me, rolled her bratty little eyes, turned and darted away from our table. She was whispering to someone else at the computer across the room. The manager called her back over, not impressed with the antics. Our options, sending the potatoes that smelled really good back to be warmed up... aka spit in. Or boxing them up and bringing them home. At this point Merritt is in critical melt down mode and the waitress is pissing me off... so we decide with the latter. The waitress threw the to-go box on the table along with the bill and walked away without saying anything. I put our card in and filled the box while trying to convince Merritt to not "swim" on the seat toward the gentleman next to us. Somewhere in the midst of this she took the bill and my card, again, without saying anything. When she brought it back she put it on the table and said "thanks." and walked away. I was so impressed. More and more by the minute, actually. Now, I like to think of myself as a good tipper. I almost always give 20% and if it is really great service, even more. I wanted to write in the tip part something snotty like "don't be a brat". Instead I let Hayden pay the tip. He was nice and left 20%. We left. So much fun. I don't mind being different or having people judge me. I am used to that. But when it comes to downright snottiness, I get really pissy. I clicked my way out as loudly as I could in my heels and we left.
Merritt made it about 30 minutes before he passed out around 9pm. We had a long day. By the time we got home he was still out. He stayed asleep as I carried him to the house, changed him into his pajamas and rearranged his bedspread. I am hoping tonight will be the night that the stupid train doesn't honk 14 times as it is passing our house at 3 am... and that we will all get a good, restful night's sleep. Here's to hoping that I won't wake up tired in the morning. And I would also like to say that from now on, I guess we'll be eating ethnic food if we are out of town... or at a restaurant that we know can accommodate us easily. So... to everyone as Hayden sits next to me and eats the cold rosemary potatoes that now smell disgusting... Good night!
So yes, highlights in the black hair to hopefully tone down the whitey-ness and pastey-like appearance I have been toting around. I like it. I am more of a chunky highlights with lots of hair drama type of girl anyway. So of course, I had to spend some extra time on the hair to see what I could do with it now that I have a new look. And I have to admit, I was inspired a bit, as I always am, by America's Next Top Model and their perfect makeover show for cycle 10. I love it. Watching little girls flip out over "short" hair. Waaa. Waaa. It's great. If I were able to have a supermodel give me advice on style of any sort, I would take it. Anyway, I am off track and you are starting to wonder what any of this has to do with cold rosemary potatoes, right? Right, so let's get to it. Merritt and I headed off. We needed TP, more natural toothpaste, some new soap that is a little less disgusting and some deodorant for mama that doesn't have carcinogens in it. Switching over to vegan-ism has taught me a lot about EVERYTHING I am putting into and on my body. I started looking at labels in my shower and just about everything has to go. Sad. But not so much. So Merr and I hit up Target first. He is so much fun and easy to entertain. I brought in an organic apple juice box for him and that kept him busy for the first 20 minutes of shopping. I tried on a couple swimsuits. Now that I am 20 pounds less than I have been any summer for the last 10... I figured I should get a hot swimsuit. Plus, I am on a budget which leads me more and more to want to purchase things I do not absolutely need. Fortunately for the budget, I was not convinced on any of the swimsuits. So we headed off to get our real necessities.
After finishing up we met up with my twin sister and her gaggle of children for a fun afternoon of screaming, arguing and breaking up fights with cookies (that would be me). I transferred Merritt's car seat into her mommy van and we were off. After a few stops for her, it was my turn for a break from the children. I ran into the Food Co-Op to grab some produce and somehow ended up standing in the chocolate isle for far too long. I passed it up which is rather shocking considering how much I have been craving chocolate lately. I headed outside after lingering a bit longer to ensure that I took advantage of my time away from the kiddos. Out to the van it was. Surprisingly for me, some cute hippie followed me out of the co-op to try to make small talk. Cute. But then I saw him eye the rock on my finger and he smiled and turned around. Have I mentioned that having someone want to make small talk with me or try to get my number... well that can keep a married girl smiling for months. I've still got it folks. That's right. Hot mom, wife and homemaker. Anyway... rosemary potatoes, I know.
We head off to get some lunch for Anna's screaming children and end up at a Mexican take-out place. You may have seen them on that show "Dirty Jobs" for turning their oil into bio-diesel, which, by-the-way, my husband did two times. I ran inside to grab a couple vegan burritos for me and Merr and somehow got suckered into paying for and picking up a shredded beef burrito for my brother in law. It really grossed me out and the smell permeated my beautiful bag of vegan goodness. Tragic. Then me and the sis and all the kids headed off to a park to enjoy our Mexican late lunch. Once we got to the park, the children who had been screaming about being SOOO hungry could care less about food. They wanted to chase each other and not listen to their mommies. It was about 45 degrees out but I was freezing. And the fact that I was wearing very adorable heels did not help my case as far as corralling children went. But we got them their outdoors time and a chance for me and Anna to scarf down two bags of take-out tortilla chips. It was good. The kids chased a couple squirrels and then we decided it was time to leave.
Somehow I ended up in Target again but this time Merritt was no angel. Remember, no nap? Right. It was about 4pm by now and he was not having anything to do with being good, listening to mommy, minding, NOT screaming. You know, typical I am about to melt down drama. For him and me. So Merritt and I got out of there as fast as we could before I lost it in the middle of Target and had some mom in her mom jeans glare at me like I am the scum of the earth.
I call Hayden for some moral support and he says we need to drive 45 minutes away to get a part for his truck that he is trading for a Mustang tomorrow. Yay! Just what I need, 45 minutes in a car with an unhappy toddler who has not had a nap. Woo hoo! So I grabbed more vegan cookies and we were off. Our happy little family. About 35 minutes into it, Merritt could no longer hold his head up and his eyes were rolling open and closed. It was really funny. Hayden decided to take advantage of the fact that I didn't want to go inside the auto parts store to strike up a 30 minute conversation with a stranger about Porsche's. It was fun. For him.
Just as he barreled his way back into the car (and after 3 harassing text/picture messages of my bored face), Merritt woke up. And once he wakes up from a late nap, he is even worse, usually, then he was before he woke up. But we were all hungry so we decided to hit up some chain Italian restaurant (and NOT olive garden). We waited for 20 minutes. Hayden asked about 5 minutes into it if their pasta had egg in it. We still didn't have an answer until just before we were seated. Yup, eggs in the pasta. Now you are getting the rosemary potatoes, right?
Our waitress bounces over... a skinny blonde 20ish girl. She takes our drink orders and Hayden starts in on his questions. Now for those of you who have ever gone to a restaurant with Hayden, you know what this can be like. Pure agony. However, now that we are vegan, it's even lengthier and more frustrating for everyone involved. The waitress was confused (shocker) about what vegan meant and even said maybe we could just try the pecan chicken dish without cheese. Yum! Her vegetarian server friend overheard that she had a vegan table (wonder how, I bet she wasn't complaining about us) and he came up with some meal ideas for us. Then the manager came over with an ingredient book to make sure we were happy and confident in our orders. We ended up ordering the bread without butter smothered on it for a starter... then green salads with red pepper balsamic vinaigrette and for the main dish... roasted rosemary potatoes that are then finished in a frying pan with EVOO. Sounded ok. My cooking is far better but we are over an hour from home, so any food will do at this point. Or so I think.
Our bread comes out and it is heavenly. We all dig in and almost completely finished 2 loaves. Then salads and they are great too. Our waitress still didn't seem too impressed by us, especially between Merritt's coughing fits from all his running around earlier combined with his massive fit at bedtime last night that left his voice hoarse and his little cough sounding awful.
Then comes the main dish. Some other gal brought it over to us. It looked really great. Lots of potatoes and I could smell the rosemary right when she set it in front of me. Yum. I dig in. First potato, cold. Second potato, cold. Third potato I dug to the bottom of the dish... it was even colder! At this point I am not too happy but I don't want to be the angry vegan who asked all the questions and then complains about cold food. So I choke down a few more. And just as my stomach starts to turn the manager comes back over to check on us. "How is everything" she asks... Hayden and I looked at each other and chuckled. This as our waitress starts our direction, too. I said "I hate to say this, but the potatoes are cold." The waitress made eye contact with me, rolled her bratty little eyes, turned and darted away from our table. She was whispering to someone else at the computer across the room. The manager called her back over, not impressed with the antics. Our options, sending the potatoes that smelled really good back to be warmed up... aka spit in. Or boxing them up and bringing them home. At this point Merritt is in critical melt down mode and the waitress is pissing me off... so we decide with the latter. The waitress threw the to-go box on the table along with the bill and walked away without saying anything. I put our card in and filled the box while trying to convince Merritt to not "swim" on the seat toward the gentleman next to us. Somewhere in the midst of this she took the bill and my card, again, without saying anything. When she brought it back she put it on the table and said "thanks." and walked away. I was so impressed. More and more by the minute, actually. Now, I like to think of myself as a good tipper. I almost always give 20% and if it is really great service, even more. I wanted to write in the tip part something snotty like "don't be a brat". Instead I let Hayden pay the tip. He was nice and left 20%. We left. So much fun. I don't mind being different or having people judge me. I am used to that. But when it comes to downright snottiness, I get really pissy. I clicked my way out as loudly as I could in my heels and we left.
Merritt made it about 30 minutes before he passed out around 9pm. We had a long day. By the time we got home he was still out. He stayed asleep as I carried him to the house, changed him into his pajamas and rearranged his bedspread. I am hoping tonight will be the night that the stupid train doesn't honk 14 times as it is passing our house at 3 am... and that we will all get a good, restful night's sleep. Here's to hoping that I won't wake up tired in the morning. And I would also like to say that from now on, I guess we'll be eating ethnic food if we are out of town... or at a restaurant that we know can accommodate us easily. So... to everyone as Hayden sits next to me and eats the cold rosemary potatoes that now smell disgusting... Good night!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes - A Fave in Our House
I have goals for my blog. Yes, indeed, it is true. One such goal is to provide you with information about some of my favorite recipes, websites, books, etc. So I have recently updated my blog to reflect that. Check out some of the links and the books I mention. You won't be disappointed, unless you are crazy, that is.
So here it is. One of the favorite breakfast treats in our household. And for the Lord's sake people. get vegan chocolate chips. Please. They sell them at Trader Joe's, the Food Co-Op, Safeway. Just check out the ingredients. Regular chocolate chips have nasty milk fats added to them that are totally unnecessary! OK, so here it really is.
Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes
2 cups buckwheat pancake mix
1 tsp ground flax seeds
2 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened applesauce
2 1/4 cups water
2 bananas, mashed to a sweet, slimy consistency
1/2 cup of chopped chocolate chips (or more if you need it)
1 tsp really good cinnamon
Maple Syrup for dipping
Sliced bananas and Chocolate Chips for Topping
Combine pancake mix, flax seeds, applesauce, water and bananas with a wooden spoon. I like to spray my spoon with cooking spray first to get it in the mood for some good mixing. Get everything well combined to ensure even banana distributions throughout all pancakes. Then drop in the chocolate chips and cinnamon. Stir until just combined. Drop by just less than 1/4 cup per pancake on a hot, cooking spray prepped skillet. Allow the pancakes to cook through until the bubbles on top of the pancake are popping and the little air bubble spots do not disappear. Then flip and cook about 1 minute more. Serve immediately. We like to eat these with our hands. The little kid has to dip everything, so we provide some organic yummy real maple syrup for him. If you have to be appropriate and eat with plates and utensils, I would suggest topping with sliced bananas and chocolate chips... or just mix that up and eat it separately after all the pancakes are gone. IF there are any left over, you can let them cool and throw them in a freezer bag... then into the freezer for a few weeks to enjoy at a later date. You can warm them easily in a skillet or if you are really lazy, just chuck them into the microwave for a tasty treat. These would be really great, too, with some coconut sorbet or soy ice cream. Enjoy and modify to your liking!
So here it is. One of the favorite breakfast treats in our household. And for the Lord's sake people. get vegan chocolate chips. Please. They sell them at Trader Joe's, the Food Co-Op, Safeway. Just check out the ingredients. Regular chocolate chips have nasty milk fats added to them that are totally unnecessary! OK, so here it really is.
Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes
2 cups buckwheat pancake mix
1 tsp ground flax seeds
2 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened applesauce
2 1/4 cups water
2 bananas, mashed to a sweet, slimy consistency
1/2 cup of chopped chocolate chips (or more if you need it)
1 tsp really good cinnamon
Maple Syrup for dipping
Sliced bananas and Chocolate Chips for Topping
Combine pancake mix, flax seeds, applesauce, water and bananas with a wooden spoon. I like to spray my spoon with cooking spray first to get it in the mood for some good mixing. Get everything well combined to ensure even banana distributions throughout all pancakes. Then drop in the chocolate chips and cinnamon. Stir until just combined. Drop by just less than 1/4 cup per pancake on a hot, cooking spray prepped skillet. Allow the pancakes to cook through until the bubbles on top of the pancake are popping and the little air bubble spots do not disappear. Then flip and cook about 1 minute more. Serve immediately. We like to eat these with our hands. The little kid has to dip everything, so we provide some organic yummy real maple syrup for him. If you have to be appropriate and eat with plates and utensils, I would suggest topping with sliced bananas and chocolate chips... or just mix that up and eat it separately after all the pancakes are gone. IF there are any left over, you can let them cool and throw them in a freezer bag... then into the freezer for a few weeks to enjoy at a later date. You can warm them easily in a skillet or if you are really lazy, just chuck them into the microwave for a tasty treat. These would be really great, too, with some coconut sorbet or soy ice cream. Enjoy and modify to your liking!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The Things Of Life.
For my regular readers, you know I put it all out there. It might be too much information for some but for me, it's therapeutic to let my story be known. To get everything that is festering inside of me... out of my body and into the world. Maybe someone can offer me some great advice, maybe people read it and think I am a drama queen. Whatever the case, it's my life and I want to share it.
So what's going on in Abbyland today? Well, it's Tuesday. I spent last night listening to my son cough every 2 to 3 minutes throughout the night. I am a part of MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) and Tuesdays are the day we get to go. This is a great opportunity for me to meet up with other moms of toddlers. I get to see that they are just as frazzled as I am and needing that couple hour break, too. I am blessed enough to sit with a group of amazing women. My sister Anna is a mother of twins... and she is my twin. So we, naturally, got sat at the twin table. Early on I was afraid I might not be able to relate to people... or maybe I would get left out since I cannot relate directly to having twins. But I have been so pleasantly surprised by how accepting and genuine every single woman is at our table. We have real conversations about life and love, children, motherhood or the latest and greatest find for moms. It has been so refreshing for me. Sometimes I just don't know how other moms do it. I have one little guy. He is so sweet and, yes, we have our melt downs, but for the most part he is a really great kid who listens and learns very fast. So when I see mothers walking in there with 3 or 4 toddlers, I just think, wow. I could never do that. I can barely stay sane with one. So what's my point? I love MOPs. It is a chance for me to connect with great people. It really has been a blessing for me. For those other mommies out there, I would recommend getting connected into a MOPs group. It's for anyone who has a child who is not yet in grade school. This also includes you pregnant mommies out there. You will meet real, genuine people who care. What do you have to lose, right? Right. So now that we have that settled, I will move on to why I decided to blog on this day.
I look out the window in front of me. it's sunny. Barely any clouds in the sky. Merritt has been sleeping for a while so I got the chance to cut up all my veggies for the week, have my favorite snack of apples and peanut butter and I got a chance to sit down for a moment and just have a quiet house. It's been a good day. Not to mention I had a vegan burrito from Taco Del Mar for lunch... one of my most favorite meals these days. Yummy. But with the cloudless sky, there is still one of those sad little black clouds hanging over me today. I am extremely emotional today. And yesterday I was too. It was two years ago yesterday that I last saw my Grandpa alive. We knew he didn't have much time left with him. I could barely bring myself to visit him. I didn't think I wanted to remember him that way, laying in bed, barely aware of his surroundings. But I loved him too much to not go. So I went. I got there and it was just us. Me, Grandpa and Grandma. And he wasn't as bad as I expected. He was pale and weak and he knew he was near the end... but he was almost peaceful. I talked to him a bit and told him how much I love him. I don't think I could have expressed my full feelings for him. He will never know what a blessing he was in my life. I have so many wonderful memories of taking walks with him, going fishing, sitting on his knee listening to tall stories about his pet horse who lived up in the mountains. Those are some of the things that I will remember in my last days. How lucky I was to have a Grandfather like him. I left that day from their house feeling so lost. Hayden and I and our whole family had already experienced so much tragedy in the last 12 months... how could it be that I was now going to lose one of the most important people in my life. I have to be honest. I was really starting to lose faith. I cried the rest of the night. Cried and cried and cried. I don't know that I had any tears left after all the crying I did in that year. The next day we were going about our usual business. It was a Saturday. I was upstairs doing some cleaning and Hayden called me down. I was so carefree that day. It was a day like today. Sunny and beautiful. And Hayden said that they had just called and Grandpa was gone. I thought I was ready for that news but it hit me like a ton of bricks. That was it. He was really gone. He said good-bye to this world in one of the best ways I have ever heard of. Most of his children were sitting around him... holding their hands on him. They were praying and some were singing. And they led him into the kingdom of God in a way that was peaceful and graceful and relaxed. So although I am so very sad to say that my Grandpa has been gone for 2 years now, I do have to say that he went to the Lord so gracefully and for that I cannot be sad. It snowed the day of his funeral. It really was perfect and beautiful. But I still get those pangs of heartache when I see little things or when I hear certain songs.
When he first got sick, I had given him my teddy bear. It was the bear that Hayden gave me right after we started dating. My blue bear because he could not find a bear with blue eyes. I have blue eyes like my Grandpa, so I thought it was only fitting that he have that bear to keep him company and to hold on to. I thought it was kinda silly but for some reason I really felt compelled to let him borrow my bear. And I can't even tell you how many times over the next few years that I showed up and Grandpa would be curled up, asleep on the couch with that bear in his arms. And on that last day... there was the bear, above his hospital bed in the living room. So I went over to the house the other day... my sister Anna and her husband have purchased my Grandparent's house. And there it was. My blue bear, sitting there, staring back at me... this when I have had this sad outlook, knowing that this anniversary was approaching. I really feel like my Grandpa is looking down on me from Heaven and he doesn't want me to be sad anymore. So I figured he doesn't need the bear anymore. I have it again and I plan to hold onto that bear forever. So if you are ever going through a rough patch and need to borrow him to lend you some comfort, just let me know. But you can't keep him. Merritt has his "Papa Bear" that Sherry made out of fabric from Steve's shirt... and I have my Franklin bear. I am not a little girl anymore. Life has barreled it's way through and I have a bit of a rougher exterior now. But I will always be my Grandpa's little girl. And there will always be a little piece of my heart missing until that day that I get to see him again. In memory of my Grandpa I am going to head off to visit his grave sight today. I have not been there since he was buried. I guess I felt like it would make it too real. But I have to let him go and remember the things that he taught me... how to get through the hard times so that you can enjoy the good times even more. He had so many great words of advice in our hardest days, after losing a baby and losing a dad. I have to take the things he taught me and pass them on so others can benefit from the simple truth that you are never given more than you can handle.
So to my Grandpa, I love and miss you everyday. Thank you for the memories. When I get where I'm going, on the far side of the sky, the first things I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly. I'm gonna land beside a lion and run my fingers through his mane... or I might find out what it's like, to ride a drop of rain. When I get where I'm going, they'll be only happy tears. I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years. I will leave my heart wide open. I will love and have no fear. Yeah, when I get where I am going, don't cry for me down here. I'm gonna walk with my Grand Daddy and he'll match me step for step. And I'll tell him how much I've missed him every minute since he left... and then I'll hug his neck. When I get where I'm going... I know this will be true. I love you Grandpa. Hugs from me here to you up there.
Abby
So what's going on in Abbyland today? Well, it's Tuesday. I spent last night listening to my son cough every 2 to 3 minutes throughout the night. I am a part of MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) and Tuesdays are the day we get to go. This is a great opportunity for me to meet up with other moms of toddlers. I get to see that they are just as frazzled as I am and needing that couple hour break, too. I am blessed enough to sit with a group of amazing women. My sister Anna is a mother of twins... and she is my twin. So we, naturally, got sat at the twin table. Early on I was afraid I might not be able to relate to people... or maybe I would get left out since I cannot relate directly to having twins. But I have been so pleasantly surprised by how accepting and genuine every single woman is at our table. We have real conversations about life and love, children, motherhood or the latest and greatest find for moms. It has been so refreshing for me. Sometimes I just don't know how other moms do it. I have one little guy. He is so sweet and, yes, we have our melt downs, but for the most part he is a really great kid who listens and learns very fast. So when I see mothers walking in there with 3 or 4 toddlers, I just think, wow. I could never do that. I can barely stay sane with one. So what's my point? I love MOPs. It is a chance for me to connect with great people. It really has been a blessing for me. For those other mommies out there, I would recommend getting connected into a MOPs group. It's for anyone who has a child who is not yet in grade school. This also includes you pregnant mommies out there. You will meet real, genuine people who care. What do you have to lose, right? Right. So now that we have that settled, I will move on to why I decided to blog on this day.
I look out the window in front of me. it's sunny. Barely any clouds in the sky. Merritt has been sleeping for a while so I got the chance to cut up all my veggies for the week, have my favorite snack of apples and peanut butter and I got a chance to sit down for a moment and just have a quiet house. It's been a good day. Not to mention I had a vegan burrito from Taco Del Mar for lunch... one of my most favorite meals these days. Yummy. But with the cloudless sky, there is still one of those sad little black clouds hanging over me today. I am extremely emotional today. And yesterday I was too. It was two years ago yesterday that I last saw my Grandpa alive. We knew he didn't have much time left with him. I could barely bring myself to visit him. I didn't think I wanted to remember him that way, laying in bed, barely aware of his surroundings. But I loved him too much to not go. So I went. I got there and it was just us. Me, Grandpa and Grandma. And he wasn't as bad as I expected. He was pale and weak and he knew he was near the end... but he was almost peaceful. I talked to him a bit and told him how much I love him. I don't think I could have expressed my full feelings for him. He will never know what a blessing he was in my life. I have so many wonderful memories of taking walks with him, going fishing, sitting on his knee listening to tall stories about his pet horse who lived up in the mountains. Those are some of the things that I will remember in my last days. How lucky I was to have a Grandfather like him. I left that day from their house feeling so lost. Hayden and I and our whole family had already experienced so much tragedy in the last 12 months... how could it be that I was now going to lose one of the most important people in my life. I have to be honest. I was really starting to lose faith. I cried the rest of the night. Cried and cried and cried. I don't know that I had any tears left after all the crying I did in that year. The next day we were going about our usual business. It was a Saturday. I was upstairs doing some cleaning and Hayden called me down. I was so carefree that day. It was a day like today. Sunny and beautiful. And Hayden said that they had just called and Grandpa was gone. I thought I was ready for that news but it hit me like a ton of bricks. That was it. He was really gone. He said good-bye to this world in one of the best ways I have ever heard of. Most of his children were sitting around him... holding their hands on him. They were praying and some were singing. And they led him into the kingdom of God in a way that was peaceful and graceful and relaxed. So although I am so very sad to say that my Grandpa has been gone for 2 years now, I do have to say that he went to the Lord so gracefully and for that I cannot be sad. It snowed the day of his funeral. It really was perfect and beautiful. But I still get those pangs of heartache when I see little things or when I hear certain songs.
When he first got sick, I had given him my teddy bear. It was the bear that Hayden gave me right after we started dating. My blue bear because he could not find a bear with blue eyes. I have blue eyes like my Grandpa, so I thought it was only fitting that he have that bear to keep him company and to hold on to. I thought it was kinda silly but for some reason I really felt compelled to let him borrow my bear. And I can't even tell you how many times over the next few years that I showed up and Grandpa would be curled up, asleep on the couch with that bear in his arms. And on that last day... there was the bear, above his hospital bed in the living room. So I went over to the house the other day... my sister Anna and her husband have purchased my Grandparent's house. And there it was. My blue bear, sitting there, staring back at me... this when I have had this sad outlook, knowing that this anniversary was approaching. I really feel like my Grandpa is looking down on me from Heaven and he doesn't want me to be sad anymore. So I figured he doesn't need the bear anymore. I have it again and I plan to hold onto that bear forever. So if you are ever going through a rough patch and need to borrow him to lend you some comfort, just let me know. But you can't keep him. Merritt has his "Papa Bear" that Sherry made out of fabric from Steve's shirt... and I have my Franklin bear. I am not a little girl anymore. Life has barreled it's way through and I have a bit of a rougher exterior now. But I will always be my Grandpa's little girl. And there will always be a little piece of my heart missing until that day that I get to see him again. In memory of my Grandpa I am going to head off to visit his grave sight today. I have not been there since he was buried. I guess I felt like it would make it too real. But I have to let him go and remember the things that he taught me... how to get through the hard times so that you can enjoy the good times even more. He had so many great words of advice in our hardest days, after losing a baby and losing a dad. I have to take the things he taught me and pass them on so others can benefit from the simple truth that you are never given more than you can handle.
So to my Grandpa, I love and miss you everyday. Thank you for the memories. When I get where I'm going, on the far side of the sky, the first things I'm gonna do is spread my wings and fly. I'm gonna land beside a lion and run my fingers through his mane... or I might find out what it's like, to ride a drop of rain. When I get where I'm going, they'll be only happy tears. I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years. I will leave my heart wide open. I will love and have no fear. Yeah, when I get where I am going, don't cry for me down here. I'm gonna walk with my Grand Daddy and he'll match me step for step. And I'll tell him how much I've missed him every minute since he left... and then I'll hug his neck. When I get where I'm going... I know this will be true. I love you Grandpa. Hugs from me here to you up there.
Abby
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